Well, as I see it, the DI isn't talking to us right now because he's busy digging a nice deep hole to hide in... Not that he NEEDS to, since I've ALREADY prepared one FOR him... Seven long, four wide, SIX DEEP...
But enough about what happens AFTER
I turn you inside out, old fella... Let's focus on the fun part... DURING.
Heh. In case you weren't aware, fans, let's check out a little tale of
the tape...
BOBO FIENDISH | The Drill Instructor (D.I.) |
Six Feet, Eight Inches Tall... 335 pounds. | Six Feet, Five Inches Tall... 275 pounds. |
(As a wrestler) 22 Wins, 0 Losses, Six Fatalities (Singles) | (As a Wrestler) 5 Wins, 2 Losses. (Singles) |
Mass Murderer of 88 Grown Men in Unarmed Combat | Mass Murderer of many women and children with a Machine Gun. |
Extensive Martial Arts Background | Extensive Martial Arts Background |
Extremely Tough and Powerful. | Extremely Old and Bitter. |
Scares the hell out of EVERYBODY. | Scares the hell out of CADETS. |
Only has one loss in his LIFE. (Tag Match) | Caused it. (Tag Partner) |
Extensive bone-breaking arsenal of moves. | Entensively old bones. |
Makes history in the ring. | IS history in the ring. |
Hmmm... Looks like the odds are against the old fella... Oh well... The odds were against him in Vietnam, but though dedication and training... The Viet Kong beat his beloved Corps across the continent. Heh. Well, as anyone can see, unless you bring a machinegun and Bobo magically turns into a child running out of a burning bamboo hut, D.I.'s chances are pretty damn slim... Hell, why kid ourselves? I'm going to put that old grey mare-ine in a bucket and sell him for GLUE...
And you get to see it happen, you lucky fans...
You're welcome.... See you SOON.