Well, well, well.... It seems that Yurine's off on a flight of fancy these days isn't he? So much to say about me that I hardly know where to begin dissecting... Oh well... First, he addresses my accidental slaying of the father of street hood Carlos... Sadly, Emilio was simply an object lesson in Carlos' re-education to the proper way to act... As for his not being able to defend himself, well, certain problems require redress at their source... Emilio was a proven breeding stud for low-quality street-hoods... His elimination, while unfortunate, serves as an example to these other 'gangsta factory' types... Hopefully, they'll start using prophalactics rather than chance a similar fate... But I digress...

Second, he constantly refers to me being some sort of gimmick... It is to laugh... I seem to recall every opponent I face making similar claims - going back as far as Smokey's intent to 'burn it away'... Of course, after they take the Wild Ride, the survivors tend to consider other subjects... Further, he suggests that he's some 'true' Soviet - despite there not being a Soviet Union anymore... But I'm the gimmick, right? Here's a question... Has Bobo ever pretended to be anything else but Bobo? No, clearly not. The fact of the matter is that 'Pinko Commies' just don't fly in the 90's, so this goofball pretends to be this other goofball to be allowed in, and THEN 'transforms' into this Supposed Soviet Stuporman... Give us all a break, Yurine. You don't need Soviet Science to know that the first letter of unoriginal is 'U'...

Now, mind you, I don't blame the little fella for being more and more desperate the closer we get to takeoff... He's pulling everything he can out to try to dissuade/inspire the masses into thinking that there is some weakness to be found in the Angel of Death Most Exalted... This pleases me... However, Yurine seems to be 'stuck' on the fact that I'm reportedly a sociopathic killer... Constantly saying, 'Yeah, but WHO did he kill... Why did he  hide the evidence? What did he gain?'... I begin to suspect that Yurine is working for the Department of Justice - or maybe shooting for a guest spot on 'X-Files'... Let's see... seven family members, three psychotherapists, thirty-two law enforcement personnel, two priests, seven 'wrestlers', one gangsta factory, one warden, twenty-four fellow inmates, two 'deathmatch promoters', and nine deathmatch fighters - at last count... (Keep digging, officers).  I could provide their names as well to help your immunity deal, Yurine... You have but to ask. Heh. I know that your attempts at emulation of such as I have served to only fuel the fires of a very intense inferiority complex... But remember... Even if you go out and kill the exact same numbers I have listed - as if that was possible for such as you - the fans will see through your pathetic facade and realize that no matter how much you try to be 'better' than me, you'll always be a pale approximation... Always. Mind you, Art Garfunkel made quite a career out of being a 'second fiddle', but I digress...

Since we're on the subject of murder, let's see your victim's roster... A guy in a 'Goofy' suit at Disneyland... Frankenstein and Wolfman at Universal Studios... Six or seven winos at a press conference... And a failed attempt at killing a cruiserweight.... Wow. Most impressive...  Interesting also that the one guy that 'lived' through your attempt at killing him was the only one with any training, isn't it? Maybe you're just 'starting small', eh? Heh. Although I hear the Toon Local is cancelling your membership in retaliation for your assaults on your fellow two-dimensionals...

Now then, one murderer to another, I don't believe I ever actually said you'd be killed, did I? Sure, I said I'd put your brain in a bottle, but since your brain isn't really being used, that's not going to kill you... Sure, I asked your 'manager' what she was going to do after you got yourself killed, but I figure that after I crush your impossible dreams of a World Title (which, last time I looked, the NWF doesn't HAVE), you'll probably slay yourself in a suitably maudlin way... Perhaps placing your head within the Superior Soviet Stove? Heh. Do you think that because I killed so many men that I'd have to kill you? Heh. Let me tell you a secret... Sometimes, letting them live is worse... Many of my opponents have lived through the Wild Ride, true, but most wished they hadn't... I have changed the very OUTLOOK of many of my opponents - Smokey, Caster, the original Priests to name a few - and will do the same for you, Yurine. After I bend your 'unbreakable' bones into an approximation of modern art, you'll realize that there is a price to be paid for hubris... Sadly, one you can't afford...

Further, you seem to be intent on 'revealing' that I'm not as intelligent as I claim... It is to laugh... You constantly seem to think I'm a necrophiliac - without ever actually knowing the term, I add... But I'm the idiot savant, right? Fine. You also claim to be this innovative technical wrestler from Russia, and to do this, you steal Masato Kasawa's Dragon Twist to cripple the sad little fellow called Southsider... Hmmm... I wonder if all superior and innovative  Soviet mat technicians are born in Japan..? Heh. Don't worry... I'll show you REAL innovation this Saturday, as I show the fans how many different ways there are to brutally bounce a bolshevik...

Also, you seem to think I'm some sort of flag-waver for the USA... Heh. While I agree that a lesser intellect like yours COULD reason that my stating Communism is a flawed system is tantamount to being pro-America, I have never actually said such a lie... I leave that sort of pathetic 'boosting' to such as you - and maybe Jim Duggan... It seems you even have cancer in common with Mr. Duggan, although his is of a vital organ - and yours is in your brain.... But I digress...

Personally, I'm surprised that you actually WANT to fight me... Perhaps you intend to be a martyr for the 'cause'? Heh. Truth be told, killing something as pathetic as you is a job for Jack Kevorkian... Bobo doesn't do favors... You seem to think that on some level you're better than I am, but we all know it's self-delusion... Although I have to admit that you're a much better whiner than I could hope to be, as you constantly shrill on and on about your supposed skill and my supposed lack of it ad nauseum without ONCE considering niggling little facts...Such as:  NO ONE can beat me. ANYONE can beat you... By the way, a fact by definition is a theory that stands up to repeated testing... How many losses do I have? How many losses do YOU? Need I say more?

However, your choice to use American prostitutes as Mother Russia is just too perfect... Even I would have trouble stating Mother Russia is a prostitute to America better than you display every time you appear... But such symbolism is inherently political, and I'm not a political person by nature... Suffice to say that through practice you have elevated your own character flaws to something approximating public speaking... Perhaps you could run for office, since you're so politically motivated? I hear Moscow is in need of a Dog-Catcher, since the meat supply is at an all time low... Heh.

Mind you, I suppose a defective brain like yours could reason that my stating your family will start recieving checks from the 'Victim's Fund' is a death threat, but it really isn't... But since you'll no longer be able to make a living as a wrestler, the rules state I have to pay your family - which means your country, since nobody's stupid enough to accept a scumbag like you as a family member, as your mother proved by abandoning you... She's not dead, Yurine... She's HIDING. Heh.  These payments will continue until you finally find a job in a sideshow as 'Kandinski - The Amazing Human Pretzel'. You think those bones are worrying me? Heh. It won't be the first time I took an opponent's 'strength' and used it against them... It won't be the last, either. Bobo is the single greatest technical FIGHTER the world has ever seen... I prove it time and time again as I slap around contender after contender... Yurine claims to be Russia's best technical wrestler... It is to laugh... He 'backs up' this ridiculous claim by stating how many gold medals the USSR had before it dissolved... First, there is no Soviet Union, so claiming to be the best Soviet wrestler is like saying you're the best wrestler in Brigadoon (for the less well educated - it's a fantasyland)... Second, while the USSR had won many Olympic medals, that - as any fool knows - is no indication that Yurine is skilled at anything... Such empty generalization as that hardly befits the Russian Heritage he's so proud of, does it? Next thing you know, he'll say all southerners are bigots, or all black men are thieves... Yet, I notice, he calls Caster the Klansman... Hmmm.... Interesting...

Yurine, I've seen better examples of Russian wrestling talent in CAPCOM GAMES - and THEY usually get slapped around by the GIRLS...

You, on the other hand, will get slapped around by ME... It won't even cost me a quarter.... If you weren't an atheist, I'd tell you to pick a god and PRAY.... Since you are, I'll just say that the alleged Soviet Union is going to get ANOTHER embarrassment when you fail - just like it did when you were BORN... All the more reason to STAY separated, I think... But I digress...

Fans, I know that you know that Yurine stands no chance against me, but since I have talent and stamina enough for several, I'm sure I can manage to prevent him from escaping the ring when he sees which of us is truly a 'gimmick'; and drag out his beating for a nice long show...

You're welcome... See you SOON.