Well, it seems that of all my 'esteemed' opponents, only one of them is Phool enough to make himself heard... This pleases me... Let's examine his curious interpretation of history...
"Everyone, but Cactus, has been beaten by me."
That's so very interesting... I guess he's still feeling the 'high' from my so-called partner's blunder. However, if he'll recall, BEFORE I tagged the old fart, I was handing him AND the Thundercat their HEADS... He may have been on the team that beat the team I was on, folks, but he's NEVER beaten ME. All that 'high-flying', ' prayers and vitamins' and 'all-week in the gym' counted for a big fat GOOSE-EGG when he brought it to ME, and nobody is DUMB enough to think that a change of attitude and lifestyle will make it any different when he brings it to me again... Well, Phool is dumb enough, but he's also NOBODY.
"I, along with my former tag team partner, were the first one's to EVER put a blemish on the "Unstoppable" Bobo Fiendish."
Well, the jokes just keep on coming... Tell them how many times your ridiculous Spinwheel Kick connected to the jaw of Mighty Bobo... Then tell them how many of them did anything to stop me... You're a slippery little piece of refuse, I'll grant you, but there's not going to be alot of stuff to hide behind in that ring... There are no stipulations you can try to handicap your opponents with in this one... No gimmicks you can hide behind... No angles you can employ... And most importantly, no friends to help you... A guy like you, who NEEDS a few buddies along before he has any heart - guys like Big Gay Al, Father Agony, and other people so damn lame that you seem cool by comparison - is out of his element in a match like this... Sorry, Tink, but even if all the kids in the world clap their hands and BELIEVE, you're still taking the Airplane to Loserville... Lucky you booked in advance, because seating's limited.... Heh.
As for the others... Babble, you seem to actually have enough sense to keep that big yap of yours shut when it starts to look like someone's going to call your bluff... But Bobo's going to do more than just revoke that 'Unlimited BS License' you carry... He's going to revoke your BIRTH CERTIFICATE... I plan to put you not only in the HOSPITAL, but in the Guinness Book... You can take Evel Kenevil's Title... MOST BONES BROKEN in a career... Of course, Evel just ran into the side of the Grand Canyon... YOU get to run into ME. When I get done, you'll have a couple new sponsors to replace Crest Toothpaste... ACE Bandages, Blue Cross, and JELLO... In case you forgot about the clock... SIX DAYS LEFT.
Smokey... Well, your buddy Oscar Gonzales better have you training like mad... You're 0-3 in any match I'm part of, and that's about to go up another click... Yes, three... When you got your team kicked out of the tourney, I got a default victory against you... Yeah, I know, but it gives you an idea of what I feel when Phool brags about his supposed victory... Disgust, confusion, and a little bit of indignation... Of course, unlike me, there's nothing you can do about it... I plan to give Phool a couple months off while his femurs reknit, but I digress... You already know how I feel about you luchadores... There's a hierarchy here... At the top is the Angel of Death Most Exalted... Then his henchmen... Then his valet... Then the other wrestlers... Then the other wrestler's managers... Then the other wrestlers valets... THEN the luchadores... Then the guys that sweep the place after the fans leave... You'll get a refresher course in where your place in the hierarchy is at the PPV when I use you for a club to bash the others...
As for ExFoley... You're not going to have a sledgehammer this time, fatso... You might still be able to sneak up behind me, but without a weapon your chances are NIL of doing anything but making me remember you're there... And then I'll have to do what it takes to make sure EVERYBODY remembers you were there... ONCE. You won't wave 'bye-bye' with Socko this time, Mickey... You'll wave FAREWELL... A fitting end to your career... A warning to others of the PRICE you must pay when you bring that Vinnie Mac ToonTown crap to MY world... I'm going to put your head on a STICK and sell it to Al Snow... CHEAP.
As a precaution, I suggest the fans in the first five rows wear raincoats or similar splash protection... This match is going to get messy... I guarantee it...
You're welcome... See you SOON.