Hello, my intended...

Well, well, WELL.... Shortly AFTER I deign to be part of Justin's assisted suicide, he goes and wins the Swiss Army Belt... This pleases me. Now it's starting to ALMOST look like a REAL PPV... Justin... The Hopelessly Hollow Hero Hybrid - 4H for short - gets to face off against The Angel of Death Most EXALTED - Bobo for short... AND as an added bonus to the fourteen people that will make up our buy-rate, it'll be a Clash of the Titles... Swiss Army Voss against Hardcore Bobo for all the marbles in the NO ESCAPE Enclosed Cage...

Mind you, I kinda thought Kong would have beat you, which would send you to our match at the PPV with either grim determination, or no will to continue living... Either way would suffice, but you had to mess up the works by winning the belt, didn't you? Now Bobo will have to modify your Entry Music... To wit:

If you're crappy and you know it,
Cheer for Voss.
If you're nose is runnin' blow it,
Cheer for Voss...

But when ol' Bobo runs out,
And tears your hero's lungs out,
And you ask 'Why'd he do that?'
Just BE - COSS.

Heh. Fans, for too long you've been led to believe that this limpet is worthy of your adulation... He isn't. This guy had to hire a MIDGET so he wouldn't be a liar when he said that people looked up to him. This guy got beat half to death by a GIRL. This guy propositions CHILDREN with Pokemon Cards. This guy runs to the Big Boss to try to weasel out of matches...

THIS guy is your HERO? Must... Not... Laugh...

Now, we all know that once Bobo gets his POWERFUL, VISELIKE hands on your 'hero', there will be much suffering for him - and whomever in the front few rows that have weak stomaches, and no 'splash protection'. This suffering will continue UNABATED, because there is no 'Tapping Out'... No  'I Quit'... No MERCY... Voss, you've always struck me as the kind of guy that desperately wants to 'fit in'... Well, after our match you WILL 'fit in'... A PRINGLE'S CAN. You think you can put a smile on MY dial, Justin? Well, you will... After I put a SHINE on your SPINE and hang it ALL on a WALL.

Now, I notice that you were in front of a mirror saying 'Who's your Daddy'... Well, your mom didn't tell you because she didn't KNOW... I mean, when the poor sap turned out all the lights so he couldn't SEE her, she pretty much couldn't see him. All she knew was that she REALLY needed that five bucks... Heh.

You presume to be able to take my testes and smack me in the skimmer with them until I hemhorrage? It is to laugh. Such pillow-talk is better spent on your naked dwarf, and he's MUCH more receptive to it. But I digress... You're not GOING to the 'Ring that Voss built', Justin... You're going on a RIDE. Bobo's WILD RIDE. But you can call it the HELL EXPRESS... And there's NOTHING you can DO about it...

'CEPT SCREAM.

Now when you and I mix it up, rest assured that I will break a COPIOUS amount of your BONES... Not JUST because puds like you with their watered-down 'Hulkamania' ripoffs are an EMBARRASSMENT to the SPORT. Not JUST because dinks like you turn this fine sport into the KISS PsychoCircus, with your midgets and freaks and ridiculous gimmick matches. Not JUST because you have that STUPID 'happyface' on your STUPID, HAPPY ASS... No, not JUST because of any of those... JUST BECAUSE of ALL of those... And because I CAN.

I know what you're thinking... Good will always triumph over evil, right? Well, that only works if you're any GOOD. Awww.... Should've read that fine print, huh? I mean, really...  Fans Count the Pin? Last time I checked, people that cheer for you are too ignorant to be ABLE to count to three... In fact, if they lost ONE MORE brain-cell, they'd be dumb enough to fall off the WORLD. Vegetarian Weapons? The only vegetable the fans are going to see is a SQUASH, unless they visit you at the HOSPITAL after the show... But I digress...

All will be settled come the PPV... A DEATH Experience. I'm Bobo, and I'll be your MAULER for that evening...

You're welcome... See you SOON.