Uh, Mr. Fiendish...? We're cutting a promo here...

Eh? Oh... Right...

Hello, my intended...

Well, I'm still trying to figure out how Claven survived the Farewell... Mayhap I didn't apply it correctly before driving his fat head through that table... Mayhap I realized that his pathetic life as it was stood was more punishment than I could inflict, and thus released him before impact... I know not.

Uh, mayhap one actually has to HAVE a spine before you can BREAK it?

......Mayhap. Hmmm... That must be it. Let us consider the evidence...

BOSTON is a city populated  by cowards... Look at their history... The SINGLE act that they are known for is that Tea Party those two-hundred odd years past. But, rather than simply - and honestly - ENACT that little protest, they dressed up as Natives so that the redcoats would blame - and subsequently punish - the indigenous peoples... Yay, team. As you can see, it would have made more sense for them to dress up as Chinamen, since they were ALL YELLOW. Fast forward to the present, and we note the stellar examples of Boston Commoner... Fat, lazy, stupid, and ever-forgetful of the monthly bathing. Normally, such a troglodyte as is spawned in Boston is usable for little except civil service, and even THAT they tend to foul up. Which I surmise is why Mr. Craven is no longer a mail-it.

Uh, don't you mean mailMAN, or at the very least mailPERSON or mailCARRIER?

.......No. Now, in case the fat slob wants to take offense, let me just say this...

Mail tampering - specifically the interference with the delivery of same - is a federal offense. Now, since it's obvious that Craven STOLE every letter he ever had put in his bag - presumably to perpetrate that he had FRIENDS who could WRITE - that makes him guilty... And what does the Angel of Death Most EXALTED do to the guilty?

That's RIGHT. He PUNISHES them. Cookie for you.

So, you're not worried about Craven - er - CLAVEN going POSTAL on you, Mr. Fiendish?

It is to laugh. Go Postal? What does that mean, really? The only place I've ever seen mail-its go is a BAR - WITH the mail... Sometimes, even with the MALE, but I digress... I'm sure the Post Office has adopted a 'Don't Ask - Don't Tell' Policy, though it seems they did so AFTER drumming Craven out of service... Awww... Another victim of poor timing.... OR they just used it as an excuse to drive you out, eh, Cliffie? Kinda like a conspiracy, huh? Heh.

Mr. Craven, I see fit to impart to you this lesson... Never forget it, no matter where you go, as long as you live...

Ahem....

Nobody Likes You.

You're welcome... See you SOON.