Hello, my intended...

The cameraman falls on his keister in surprise, and the mysterious stranger gets out of the van to loom in full view of the camera... He wears a ragged black jumpsuit with Department of Corrections markings on it, a mask that looks more like a muzzle, and a sticker on his chest that says 'Hi. My name is _BOBO_'

Well, well, well... It seems we have some kind of potato rancher talking shyte... This pleases me. You there, cameraman... On your feet...

Me?

Yes. You see, this sorry attempt at Old MICKdonald seems to feel threatened by our existance... Sorry, 'lassie', but seeing as how I have no idea who you are, there's really no reason to rip off all your arms and legs. I guess that's all bolluxed now though, huh? Fine.

You need to understand, Shame-Us. Although I grant that there are quite a few similarities twixt the average Irish NOOgin, and the below-average brick - the former being denser and the latter faster to conduct electricity, but I digress... Does this mean you think I 'stole' a move so elementary as a CLAW, from of all people the sad copy of BARRY frickin' WINDHAM's old man? It is to laugh... Heh.

You simpleton... You think after 27 beers you can muster enough courage to try and use ME to springboard into whatever passes for a spotlight in this farm-league? That's sad... Do you know what happens when people like you let LIQUOR pump them up to believe they can challenge such as I? The world has FEWER people like YOU...

Know this: I am the Angel of DEATH Most Exalted. The day I back off from some punk that thinks he can challenge his betters will be one of the chilliest Hell's ever had... You want to step up to the plate and take a ticket to Bobo's Wild Ride? Done...

Nobody leaves empty-handed....

EVERYBODY gets a prize....

Today's prize is a shiny WHEELCHAIR... Spiffy. One of the few vehicles you can't get a ticket for driving under the influence in... Heh. Here's your chance, Old MICKdonald... You wanna scramble with such as I? Really? Well, after I stomp the guts out of 'AlabamaMan', I'll figure I'd need someone to finish warming up on, and if you got the brass (or your BUD has convinced you you do, whatever comes first) I say we have a little scrimmage..

And then I'll cram that stupid cowboy hat down your neck! An Irish cowboy... Sheesh... You want something nobody's done before, I suggest an Irish teetotaler... That's gotta be worth some heat, huh?

Just a little help for your career from the Angel of Death Most Exalted...

You're Welcome... See you SOON.

The camera follows Fiendish as he walks to the shadows... And vanishes.