RAW Bits
Submitted for Monday Night Sucks 11-25-02

Hello, my intended...

In case nobody else mentions it, Barbwire Mike and myself both offered to donate $10 to charity should RVD get the nod... Not wanting 'saving ten bucks' to be the only 'bright spot of the night', I donated the ten-spot anyway.

Yes, Monday was one of THOSE nights.

So, why did Monday Night Suck THIS time? Glad you asked. Not so glad I watched the damn show so I could answer, but I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. (Bockbockbock!) That said...

Please note that this is from memory, as I REALLY do NOT want to watch the tape of Monday's show. I want to stuff it in a bucket full of cement and bury it in the backyard. So I'll probably be hopping all over the place as my memory kicks in...

Is anyone else surprised that HHH showed up the week Steiner is supposed to be on Smackdown? Any bets that his 'injury' flares up (no pun intended) THIS Monday when Steiner allegedly returns? C'mon, I need to make up a tenner... Heh.

Victoria once again showing me that she's, well, a stew. A little Chyna, a little Daffney, a little Luna, a little Moola, a little Madusa, and a little charisma. Okay, you caught me. I made up the last one...

To top things off, she's working some angle of deviant/fatal attraction with Stevie Richards and any blonde 'Diva' within a hundred yards? She's got heat with Trish because she used to hold the Women's Title, and heat with Stacy Kiebler because she rejected and then shot Stevie in the gonads with a T-Shirt cannon. Oh, and Terri Runnels because she's blonde, too... I guess the idea is so the fans pick up that the heel chick has the black extensions. Gee, thanks, I would NEVER have been able to tell who was the heel without THAT subtle clue. No doubt establishing Vic as a 'strange one' and possibly building to FINALLY giving us some of that promised H.L.A. - only to yoink it away at the last second, like before.

Not that I'm especially anxious to see such a thing on TV, but if you tell me you're gonna have something on and you don't, you fucking owe me. You paid up on the Steiner interview promptly enough, but don't think I forgot about the HLA you had Rosie and Jamal wreck to establish them as monsters before deciding to job them to any other two guys in the lockerroom wearing matching outfits. Yeah, Rikishi must REALLY be glad to know you two are on HIS family tree. Yes, they're cousins, not that that sort of thing helped Chris Chetti, but I digress.

Can anyone else see this 'building' to a mixed tag match twixt Stevie and Vic and Test and Stacy? Each team having a member that totally destroys their side of the gender spectrum. Yeah, Test squashed Stevie again. Yay.

I'm not even going to get STARTED on the whole Naked Canucks fustercluck. You could see the pantylines under their towels, anyway. And what the hell is it with all these 'teased finishes' in tagmatches lately? Last Thusday with the four falls in a two out of three, and this week with the TWO restarts to the goddamn Dudley/Canuck match? I was SO close to marking out for the Dudleyz seventh tag reign, but they screwed it - despite the crowd popping like crazy. Way to go, gentlemen. Though it was funny tp hear Bubba go, "C'mere, bitch!" before starting to whale on Y2J during the second restart.

And is anyone else smirking that they made Val Venis the Chief of Staff, or am I the only one to catch the innuendo? Strange thing, though, is that he was right both times. This could go somewhere...

I was laughing when Jericho made fun of Steiner's 'babytalk'. I'm going to laugh even more when Steiner feeds him his Neidhart beard. Big Bad Rooty Tooty, eh? Wasn't it funny when Hurricane told the Canucks their bags were heisted, and Christian demands, "You're a crimefighter! Why didn't you STOP them?"

Nowinski versus Maven. Need I say more? No, clearly not. And look, another Book to the Head knockout...

Sorta funny with Jericho asking if you got a free bowl of soup with the Tigerstripe Outfit Rico was wearing...

I was sorta surprised to see Rico go out there and try to work. He really showed us some nice martial arts and oldschool 'working the arm' of Little Dust. What sucked about it? They worked to TOTAL silence.

The Dudleys toss Jericho and Christians clothes into the crowd. I'm going to check E-Bay and see how many items are on after I finish this. Especially the Ass Cream. Yeah. That says collector's item....

Sweet Chin Jesus, would it KILL them to give Jeff Hardy the night off once in a while? I really enjoyed Hurricane chokeslamming Storm, though I still miss the Hurri-Twin Powers Activate bit. They never gave them a chance. Storm and Hurricane could have been major. And JR calling a twisting enzugiiri a Shining Wizard was further proof that he's LONG since lost any sort of viability as a commentator. Even King took a shot, "They call that a Shining Wizard? Where'd you pick that up? You sure it's not a Scalded Dog?" And could we PLEASE stop this whole Regal the knockout artist crapstravaganza? He kissed Vince's ass on camera. He burst into tears after losing the European belt. NOW he's tough as nails? SPARE ME.

Kane gets squashed by Batista. Again. Yay.

Very depressed that they JUST start to get somewhere with the RVD/HBK match when we get the run-in that everyone else is probably going to run into the ground, so I'll digress.

In short, the Trish/Victoria match was the best of the night... What does THAT tell you?

Monday Night Sucks, of course.

You're welcome. See you SOON.