Monday Night Sucks
Submitted 11-18-02Hello, my intended...
Well, here I am making my contribution to the vaunted Monday Night Sucks... This pleases me. So, a quick rundown on the more irritating spots would be in order, as is customary.
JR completely burying RVD (again) over injuring Hunter's trachea. It seemed like every time RVD was onscreen, JR was talking about how he landed on the Game and injured him... For chrissakes, take off the Resistol hat and let some OXYGEN seep into that Stonehenge Obelisk with a baldspot, won't you, Saucy McSooner?
The cage was 16 feet high. The ringpost is five and a half, RVD is nearly six and a half, and he still tried to do a highspot to show the fans something for their hard earned money. And you BURY him after everyone ON the WWE-dot-com puts Hunter over for being 'indestructible' and supposedly wrestling two or three solid weeks in there after he got 'hurt'? Get off my TV.
And what the HELL do I care whether Oklahoma is in 'the title hunt', or what college teams Tazz and Cole like? We're wrestling fans, Saucy. Talk about WRESTLING. We can look up FOOTBALL if we want to know, okay? (Hint: We DON'T)
I'm getting pretty tired of this whole Victoria and her Secret nonsense that got absolutely IGNORED after the big scuffle at SS. Now she's stomping on Ms. Hancock (WICKED modified Gory Special Driver, mind you) for... STEVIE RICHARDS? What the hell do these two have in common? Both nuts? EXPLAIN sudden changes, guys. What the chimichonga do you have Trish and Coachman there for, if not to get some sort of 'Why We Did That' from the workers? Hurry back, Jazz. We need someone to step on some neck and yesterday.
I love BPP, but we need another 'run-in man' like we need the herpes. Of all the people you wanna have Steiner feud with, you pick Jericho? Why? It makes no sense. Jericho had NOTHING to do with Steiner in the WCW. So he called him assclown. Yeah, that'll sell tickets. (Hint: Jericho calls EVERYONE assclown)
Why not have BPP have heat with Booker T? Remember him? The five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW Champ that whooped Steiner for TWO of the times? Including the LAST one of the belt's actual history.... Oh, wait, that would make some sense, and elevate Booker/cement him as a face to Steiner's mega-heel. On the other hand, I wouldn't need to worry about Scottie calling him 'Boy' like he did in WCW (while I winced).
Let's not even get INTO the fact that HBK is Champ after two matches in the last four years... Yeah, Mike, I guess the secret to success and longevity in the grap game is PACING YOURSELF. Thanks for that wonderful insight, and I look forward to your long title reign before giving the strap back to Paulie the Roid like I look forward to cancer. (Hint: Sarcasm.)
Drop the belt to RVD and leave, if you want the fans to like you again. Pretending to be on my side over the necrophiliac fustercluck just comes off as condescending - especially when if you REALLY knew what the fans wanted, you'd have laid down immediately after getting out of the Isolation Chamber. And get a haircut, cuz that Prince Valium thing you got going on looks GTU (Gayer Than Usual).
Just a little friendly advice from your old buddy, Bobo...
You're welcome. See you SOON.