Hello, my intended....

Well, I suppose it would be a good idea to introduce myself by way of how I got into wrestling in the first place... Maybe get the ball rolling? So be it.

Personally, the first exposure to wrestling I got was that it was cool to be into it, and I couldn't afford to go. I got all sorts of sneers because I had no idea who the hell Andre the Giant or Superfly Snuka was, and never would because I was a poor piece of crap... Then, one magic day, it went mainstream and I got to see it on free TV (as I was still a poor piece of crap)... It was two weeks into Iron Shiek's reign as World Champ, as he had just destroyed Bob Backlund and with his evil Commie buddy and evil Manager was setting up for a nice Sammartino-esque run...

I saw Iron Shiek, and I thought, 'Wow. This guy is a monster. He's spitting on the flag, and saying Iran is #1.' While I didn't agree with his politics, he sure backed it up in the ring by destroying any dink they sent out after him. Dudes like SD Jones would come out and get their heads handed to them... I mean, two minutes into the match and you could tell they had no business in there with the Champ, who completely outwrestled them even BEFORE going to the bag of dirty-tricks, which he did not because he NEEDED to cheat - because he LIKED it. The Iron Shiek remains one of my favorite wrestlers to this very day...

Then they set up a rematch for Backlund, and it promised to be one for the grandkids to hear about years from now as America sent their best chance to topple the despicable Iranian... But, HORROR, Backlund was unable to compete due to some injury! Shiek smiled in such a way that you KNEW he was at the bottom of this tragedy as well as that it would never be proven... The announcers then stated that someone would step up as a replacement for Backlund, and Shiek squabbled a bit over that because 'he had trained to face Backlund', but was willing to scramble because, after all, Iran was #1...

Cue 'Survivor' belting out 'Eye of the Tiger', and I was like, 'They got ROCKY to fight the Shiek? But he's just a made up dude from a movie... How can HE fight the Shiek?'

Cue the Orange Goblin coming out, with a FLAG. "Who the hell is this guy?" I demanded of the TV. "They just grab a guy off the street or something? Shiek will KILL him!" The battle begins, and this guy seems to be somewhat tougher than the likes of the sad-sacks Shiek had destroyed up til now, but clearly still no match for the Mighty Shiek. Ah, there's the Camel Clutch. Show's Over... Only it wasn't. This dude GETS OUT of the dreaded Camel Clutch with sheer STRENGTH and proceeds to smash Shiek pillar to post, even ignoring clubbing shots that sent others to the mat seeing stars. What the hell? He WINS with a strange leg-drop attack and we have a new champ! Boo! Shiek was ROBBED! They gave him a bait and switch and brought out someone the Shiek didn't know and didn't prepare for in a shameful ruse to STEAL the title from him! Boo!

I noticed I was the only one booing... Oops. Everyone else was going on like they won the lotto. USA chants aplenty and the 'ringer' showboated as insult to injury of this complete BALONEY. I swore that day that this Hulk Hogan would be my most hated wrestler, forever.

The streak continues, almost 20 years later... I cheered the likes of Paul Orndorff and Roddy Piper as they made life hell for the guy that I swore won a fluke victory and then dodged a rematch as long as possible, only 'testing' himself against the likes of Barry Horowitz and similar 'ham and eggers', as Bob Heenan coined. If you wanted me to root for you, you had but to face Hogan. If you wanted a FAN, you had but to defeat Hogan... There were several other people out there that I thought could take that Hogan bastard easy, but they were good guys... Good guys never fought each other. They fought bad guys. And bad guys cheated, in case you didn't know who was bad...

In truth, I was a mark. it wasn't for ten months until I noted a pattern - as Hogan rarely showed on free TV. 'Hogan starts strong. Badguy cheats to get upper hand. Hogan gets slapped around before the fans cheering gets him to 'Hulk-Up' and then turn around and destroy the hapless badguy that eats the leg still wondering why his punches had no effect.' I studied Hogan the way most people pondered a tough puzzle, and it occured to me:

'He fights the same way every match'.

How the hell can this be? I wondered. I went into martial arts a couple years prior, and KNEW that you just could NOT do the same thing every fight and continue to win. It wasn't possible. There was a counter to EVERYTHING, and yet this big turkey does the same style match against everyone and ALWAYS WINS?

BALONEY. (I was thirteen, and thus not allowed to say BULLSHIT)

That was when I became a 'smart mark', several years before the term even existed, I knew that this stuff was somehow rigged. Hogan became even MORE despised by softsoaping the world into thinking he was so great when he was only winning because the other guy took a dive. I then proceeded to ignore Hogan's matches and watch the other guys go at it... Pedro Morales. Ivan Putski. The despicable Bobby Heenan in the ring gouging the shit out of David Sammartino while his father watched helplessly from the announce booth (and I cheered happily as Dave only got the job because his dad was a bigshot). I gauged wrestlers early on, proud that I could tell a legit badass from a two-bit actor nine times out of ten.

Then came NWA to the local UHF TV, and I saw the Four Horsemen running roughshod over everything. Flair as the champ, Arn as Enforcer, his brother Ole, and Tully Blanchard, the evillest heels of all. Tully was the most awesome wrestler ever, and routinely made fools out of all comers, especially Magnum TA, with his amazing technical skill. Tully is the only other member of my favorite wrestlers list. The WWF and NWA waged a bitter battle against each other, and sometimes a guy would cross over...

And the side that got him pretended he was new...? How was this possible? How could they not recognize a former champion? This was baloney, also...

After some long time... eleven years, actually, I started to be disgusted... Everybody was coming in because they were somebody's son, and never could fill the shoes. Dustin Rhodes. Erik Watts. Barry Windham... Bleck. Then the gimmicks RD Reynolds made (in)famous, got going in earnest, and I stepped away shortly after - vowing never to return to this sillly shit (I was 24, and allowed to say shit)... I went about my way, playing videogames and pen and paper RPGs and continuing my training. I hoped that I could get myself into the business and bring a little credibility back to the sport I loved so well...

Then, while channel surfing, I stumbled across ECW on ESPN2. Paul E. Dangerously had come back, to MY hometown, and started up a promotion that hearkened back to the days of old. It was brutal. It was vicious. It had Kevin Sullivan get put headfirst through a wall by a set of giant sized twins called the Bruise Brothers, who had all but destroyed his partner the Tazmaniac. I was in love again, and renewed my training with vigor. I camped out at noon so I would be sure to get a seat for the 8 o'clock shows, and these guys went all out. I saw every show for five years.

Then, Vince fucked it all up. (Surprise!) In order to avoid paying tribute to the New Jersey commission, or have his stars drug tested, he out and out said it was a work.

Fakeroo.

I was devastated. If the biggest promotion out there said it was fake, what about the little promotions? They eventually followed suit, as stars from the big ones filtered down... How could I believe that after being bullshit up in Conn., they were legit in Philly? Impossible. Then the 'Mole' fiasco sent my faves from Viking Hall to the 'big leagues', and though I still liked them, they were generally made into jokes. The bigger they were in Viking, the stupider they were made in Atlanta and Conn... Public Enemy was routinely punked. Taz was jobbing to LAWLER. Raven was leading a bunch of geeks and rejects, and Sandman - most hated of his enemies - was suddenly his BROTHER, Hak?

The point of this long rant is this... By 'outing' the business as he did, Vince destroyed the magic. The believabilty. The verisimilitude, if you weel... By allowing the casual fan to know that it wasn't a serious competition, but rather a circus that pretended to be one, the product suffered a blow it's never going to recover from. At least not anytime in the foreseeable future....

And that's just sad.

You're welcome. See you SOON.