Hello, my intended....
Well, folks, I've been watching the offerings from our buddy and good friend, Vince, and it's starting to occur to me that he's coming at us fans with a play straight out of Turner's handbook... No, not Ted.
Consider, the constant kvetching and whinging from the longtime fans, plus the complete disinterest of the casual ones has forced Vince to reconsider his present steerage of 'Shock TV to Generate Uproar' and slowly 'remember' what the second 'W' in his company stood for - Wrestling. The matches are actually getting watchable again - and there are burgeoning feuds scattered throughout that are slowly making us care again... Some of us have even gone so far as forgive the sins of the past few weeks (well, some of them - Al's still on Smackdown) as the rise in Raw ratings from 3.1 last week to 3.7 clearly attests; although some feel it was due to an absence of HHH.
"They're finally starting to GET IT," state many in matter-of-fact tones, "The fans want WRESTLING. If you give us what we want, we will watch! Thank YOU for FINALLY getting a CLUE."
Not so fast, kids. Not so fucking fast.
Yeah, yeah, I know. He didn't mean to do that whole Necrophilia thing, he just wanted to get our attention. Keep us on our toes. He's sees now that it was a mistake to hurt us, and he's very sorry. He can change. He can make things like they used to be... Remember? The good old days can be back. We can be happy together again. Just like before. Really. He won't hurt us anymore. That's the past, and while he can't change it, he's profoundly sorry and is SURE he can make it up to us if he let him but try. C'mon, honey... Give him another chance.
I know he's giving us flowers and candy and sweet talk now, but it's just so we let him back in... Sure, I know. Things will be peachy a few weeks... Maybe a few months...
But he WILL start in on us again. It's called 'a Pattern'.
That screeching sound? Yeah, that's just what I call 'realization'. Welcome to Bobo's Wild Ride... Heh.
I'm personally looking for Michaels to give RVD the rub and lay down for him, as the Dubester is pretty much 'who the people have wanted for a LONG time' - plus, to have it all 'make sense' for us internet geeks it gives HHH someone to come back and destroy for 'revenge' - probably with Michaels in his corner...
Yeah, I know, it's nuts... Right. Denial is just a river in Egypt. Heh. Okay, have some evidence....
A wrestler is measured by his enemies - especially so for a Champion. This is a business of dynamics and diametric opposition. Hogan was loved because Piper was despised (or vice versa). Despite Vince claiming we wanted to be 'challenged' by 'deeper characters', the truth is fudging the lines doesn't make the pictures clearer - especially morality pictures. Quite the opposite, even.
Remember when they 'gave' us Jericho as the First Unified Champion? Oh, how we celebrated! Remember his long championship reign where he raised 'run for the heels' to SO much more than a bad pun and feuded with, who? Edge? Angle? Right... Pretty Much Nobody. In all fairness, the top spots were completely vacant with Rock making movies, Austin stale, Undertaker stale, HHH hurt, Benoit hurt, Booker T a joke, the Giant a WORSE joke, and Brock just getting started. So they tried to put Jericho over as a cowardly heel without any face to... well, face off with.
So with a screwjob finish every match, the fans backed off the guy. He didn't shine like we all really expected he would. He didn't let us crow to the bookers 'We Told You So'. He didn't 'make the title', the title made him... Irritating. So when he finally dropped the strap to HHH who was making his 'triumphant return' after the torn quad, we actually breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well," they told us, "maybe Chris just wasn't ready for prime-time yet." And we agreed. How could we not?
And look at Jericho now. Former Unified, Undisputed Champ. Former Internet darling... What is he doing? Making 'assclown' the most irritating 'don't get over - get OUT' phrase since 'slapnuts', and pissing away his vaunted talents as little more than a fatted calf for the 'old guard' to tune up on. The little guy that FINALLY won THE BIG ONE became a worse choke-artist AFTER than he ever was BEFORE.
And when Michaels 'gracefully bows out' to let the 'fabulous talent shine' - likely to the roaring approval of the majority of the people that have RVD as their current Internet Darling... Who will RVD pit himself against? Who will make RVD the Internet's 'I Told You So' to the Holders of the Book...?
There's that pattern again... Heh.
I don't mean to hurt you, honey, it's just that you don't give me any other choice, sometimes... Sometimes you get all up in arms about the things you want, and you don't want them when I give them to you! So I try to give you something different, and you turn up your nose like you don't appreciate all I do for you. That hurts a guy, honey... And sometimes when a guy gets hurt, he wants to give some of it back... I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying I don't love you when I do it. I do it because I love you. Because if I didn't, I'd let you do what you wanted - And we both know you'd eventually get into something you couldn't get out of, and I wouldn't be ABLE to help... But I don't want that to happen... Because I love you. Okay? Do you understand?
Now get on your knees and welcome Daddy home PROPER.
You're welcome. See you SOON...